The Joke by Brandi Carlile
Notes
When I first heard The Joke, I was certain the “boy” Brandi Carlile was singing about was me. Maybe not the impeccable style, but the stolen voice, the gentle ways that kept them from running wild.
I listened to the song before bed every night for for two years1. In The Metanoia, it went beyond simply feeling the song was about me. For, if Catherine’s little plan could spider out from her and Dr. Patel to someone like Dean and Jack Van Damme, it could be anywhere. A decade later, the certainty has faded and I simply relate to the song.
I like the idea that, “The joke’s on them,” but the metaphor of a joke is like the metaphor of chess. This is life, not a game or a joke.
I thought the title of the album was a message from The Metanoia, “By The Way, I forgive you.” By the time the song came out, I was less guilt-ridden than angry. The anger doesn’t come out in The Tech Drama. The anger would come out later, alone, maybe in therapy. I’m convinced the anger wasn’t something I could allow myself to feel until I had built some
Catherine, Daniel, Dr. Patel, by the way, I … I’m not ready to say it yet.
Another song I listened to was From Here On Out by the Killers.